Order Only: Private message to Justin
Aug. 29th, 2015 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_rachelWhen I joined the Order I thought of you as a child.
But you know, I decided I was going to kill Antonin Dolohov when I was ten years old. So I wasn't in much of a position to judge.
And you were good at what you did. So good. Too good. Sirius had said before he wanted you (and the rest of the Juniors) further from the action. He didn't want to admit that Dolohov was right, you were incredibly talented. Putting you behind a desk would have been a waste of resources and we couldn't afford to waste resources, especially after we lost Severus and Kingsley and so many others.
If we hadn't been trying to protect you, would you have brought Sirius with you last night? Bellatrix would have killed him, instead. He'd have bought you the half second you needed, that you didn't have.
He'd have bought it so gladly.
As I would have. But instead, you saved my life and lost your own.
They didn't let me out of bed to go to your funeral but I heard the bells ringing.
I feel like I should say thank you, for saving my life, but I want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you, and tell you you're lucky you work for an MLE where we don't cruciate people for making stupid decisions and then give you a week of leave and a month of filing parchmentwork, instead, so you can think about what an idiot you were.
Dammit, Justin.
But you know, I decided I was going to kill Antonin Dolohov when I was ten years old. So I wasn't in much of a position to judge.
And you were good at what you did. So good. Too good. Sirius had said before he wanted you (and the rest of the Juniors) further from the action. He didn't want to admit that Dolohov was right, you were incredibly talented. Putting you behind a desk would have been a waste of resources and we couldn't afford to waste resources, especially after we lost Severus and Kingsley and so many others.
If we hadn't been trying to protect you, would you have brought Sirius with you last night? Bellatrix would have killed him, instead. He'd have bought you the half second you needed, that you didn't have.
He'd have bought it so gladly.
As I would have. But instead, you saved my life and lost your own.
They didn't let me out of bed to go to your funeral but I heard the bells ringing.
I feel like I should say thank you, for saving my life, but I want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you, and tell you you're lucky you work for an MLE where we don't cruciate people for making stupid decisions and then give you a week of leave and a month of filing parchmentwork, instead, so you can think about what an idiot you were.
Dammit, Justin.
